Last week I finally decided to tackle my closet. I say tackle because this is no light task — the last time I cleaned out my closet was when I had decided I hated all my clothes and needed a clean, fresh start. I was 15 and dramatic. I’m still quite dramatic, but now I’m 21.

In the past six years, I’ve accumulated a lot. I’ve worked a retail job for three summers where I’ve received a hefty discount that I took full advantage of. Not to mention I basically live at Goodwill and just generally enjoy going shopping. Needless to say, it was about time.

As I pulled out my sweatshirts to start, I reflected on all the memories I had made when wearing each of them. Even the ugliest ones of the bunch had been worn during some of my favorite moments in high school or college. I started sorting through everything, creating a “yes” pile, a “no” pile, a “maybe” pile, and an “emotional attachment” pile. Though I have outgrown numerous items in my closet in the past six years, I also have a hard time letting things go. Whether that be clothes or people or places or moments I always find myself wishing I could go back to them or carry them with me through my life. Though as I am constantly reminded by my dad, this is not productive. And as my “emotional attachment” pile began to grow taller than my “no” pile, I realized I needed to rethink my system.

I realized that I needed to find a balance between holding onto keepsakes and hoarding everything because I’m too scared to let go and move on. This might seem a bit dramatic for a closet clean out, but sometimes you don’t realize how much something means to you until you’re standing in front of it being forced to make a decision on the spot. And as a chronic overthinker, making split-second choices felt wrong.

I took a break to go outside and sit with my thoughts, hoping the fresh air would encourage me to flip the switch and quit hoarding. It kind of did – almost as soon as I sat down to sip on my raspberry-flavored probiotic soda with my dog in my backyard, I found the clarity I needed.

I climbed back upstairs to my room and finished my closet in a frenzy. I can literally imagine a cartoon version of myself speed-walking around my room, causing a chaotic swirl of colors as I uprooted every single item from my closet. But once I looked around my newly organized closet and saw that it still looked completely full, I knew how needed this had been. That afternoon I brought seven garbage bags full of clothes and shoes to my favorite Goodwill store.

It turns out that the encouragement I needed was knowing that somebody else would love and need these clothes or shoes more than I did. I was no longer excited about getting to wear them, just rather scared to let go of them. In other words, their moment with me was over and that was a good thing. In both my closet and my life, it is time for me to make room for what is to come.

Since I originally donated the clothes, I have seen a couple items of my clothing still in Goodwill, not yet sold. And every time I do, I know I did the right thing. One day, whether that be tomorrow or in a month, somebody is going to walk into the store and be excited to have found something that I used to stuff into the back corner of my closet. I won’t lie, there is still a pang of sadness that rings through my chest and falls into my stomach to see an old purse of my mom’s still hanging unsold and that is okay. Even if it feels ridiculous, it’s okay to feel upset or sad about something you thought you have moved on from. But we cannot simply sit in the past forever.

National Give Something Away Day is today, July 15th, but as humans it is also every day. It is a celebration of kindness and generosity, and it challenges us to look beyond ourselves and stand in solidarity with others. We grow as humans and create positive impacts using our compassion and empathy. I am reminded of my privilege in having the time to sort through my closet and donate what doesn’t fit or suit me anymore. But I am also reminded of the privilege and responsibility we have to uplift others and contribute towards a brighter future. Giving back looks different for every individual, but I encourage you to look beyond yourself today and challenge yourself to be better. I also want to remind you that it is okay to let go. And possibly more importantly, it is okay to mourn what you let go. Your feelings are valid, no matter how big or small and learning to sit and understand those emotions is what makes us human.

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