Just over a year ago, I ended my 38-year marriage. Through some intense counseling, I learned that my husband had Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Research confirms that it can rarely be treated. Due to the verbal and emotional abuse I suffered from him I had lost myself and become very broken.
In the brokenness, I was able to start speaking my truth and others began investing in my life and I in theirs. Spending time in my Bible and conversing with the Lord became very important to me, and I began to trust that God truly has a plan for my life. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Oh, how I needed that hope for my future!
Along this journey I have met so many amazing women, a sisterhood! For a while I was in a group for women in transition. Some of them had just been released from prison, had just broken free from addiction or had been living on the streets. Honestly, I was a little afraid at first, but I clung to those precious souls and learned their stories. We bonded quickly in our struggle to heal. We reveled in our vulnerability and encouraged each other to be transparent. They poured into my life like no one else could have, and I am so very grateful to have had that time with them. They were my tribe, my angels with flesh on!
One of my favorite names for God is “El Roi,” meaning “the God who sees me.” He sees everything about me and loves me in spite of it. He knows the brokenness, that’s where He was able to get in and start putting the pieces back together. That’s also where He was able to shine out. He changed me from hopelessly broken to Beautifully Broken and I am at peace with that. Today I have a future and a hope. I pray the same for you!
For anyone who might also be dealing with a narcissist, here are some resources: Dr. Les Carter Narcissistic Videos.
Laura Charanza has a Facebook page called “Victorious Voices”
Listen to the song “God Only Knows” https://binged.it/2NpyY40y by For King and Country:
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