This article has proven a bit difficult to write; it has been hard to relive but all the same necessary. Funny thing about bad things happening to you, they don’t necessarily happen and leave. Can the same be said about good things? When you have a great day, you’ll probably remember it as when that stranger commented about your hair; it felt great. Or when you got married to a loving man, and you overflow with that flooding feeling of contentment. When things are bad, though, the world brings you to your literal knees. It feels like someone dug an even deeper hole at the bottom of the ocean. My trauma stems from the passing of my dad, grandmother, and my very close friend within a period of 6 months between each other. I am not sure which death I was mourning and at what time, but it all felt quite heavy.
We just marked World Mental Health Day on October 10, and I would also like to shed light on what today is: World Trauma Day. Unfortunately, the loss is only felt by the ones left behind, not the ones who have departed. Perhaps there is mercy to death because it is silent and final. We can’t change what has happened, but we can play our part in helping those affected. Loss can be so isolating and blinding. I didn’t realize I was actually going through it when I was experiencing depression after my friend died. My friends would ask me if I was doing okay and logically, I was, but I don’t think I really was. When you call to ask me if I want to leave the house today, if I want to cry or, better yet, if I want to talk about what I feel, it gets me out of my head, out of the prison my mind has built. There is something about talking or sharing that makes the experience even more real but freeing because I am no longer holding it in my heart. Give room for expression, a place for understanding, and, better still, a space full of love.
I dealt with my trauma today by talking about it. I haven’t found my way to a therapist just yet, but I am doing okay. Yes, I am really okay. Are you doing okay? Are you finding the proper channels to explore your healing because things might feel bad now, but it won’t always be like that. It won’t always feel bad but until it doesn’t, try to be present. Feel your emotions, feel the anger, feel the pain but don’t let it become you. You are, we are, so much more than the bad days we go through. If you are reading this and have or are experiencing loss or trauma, you will get through this. Talk to someone you trust and be present in your life. Try to find your way back to your loved ones and to your passions because that is what will help you build your pillars back up again.
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