Losses and Lessons Learned Working Through My Grief

Jan 31, 2023 | Main Blog | 0 comments

Have you ever lost someone? The grief is real.

Grief is a strong emotion that people experience after losing a loved one. And yes, today we are going to talk about it, and how I’ve gotten through it.

We always think that certain situations are never going to happen to us until they do. And then what? You learn about it and keep going. After I experienced the loss of my dad, things were never the same again. Even my mom and I changed. I have always been a person who shows up as a very strong woman, not crying over things, and not really talking about sad stories. But as humans, we evolve over time. And now I can really say that “time heals everything.”

My dad

It is almost that specific day of the year that I still remember as the worst day of my life.

And I think I haven’t said it before, but I lost my dad when I was 22 years old. Yes, I was young when it happened, and I was still studying at the university.

My dad and I had a very close relationship; we would talk about everything all the time. He made me appreciate life, family, friends, and love music. Also, he encouraged me to read, exercise, work hard, be responsible, be a good person, and be humble. And most importantly, to be me always and not pretend to be someone I am not just to impress.

In other words, you are not a gold coin so everyone will like you.

After my dad fell down the stairs and went to the doctor, he never returned home as himself. He was diagnosed with brain cancer and had 6 months to live. This was the worst news I’d ever received. Before he had surgery, my dad sat me down and talked to me about all the things that could possibly happen to him. As time went by, I spent as much time as I could with him, and to overcome my sadness I also decided to get out at night with my friends. I was very busy helping my mom, dad, and with homework. Being busy also helped me to not overthink the situation. Those were very hard days, but in the end, my mom and I were happy to have done everything we could possibly do so that my dad could be well.

Friends are the key; they helped me get through these dark times, and I am forever grateful to have them in my life.

My friend

Last summer I lost one of my best friends; she had stomach cancer and at the time was living in the US. I never thought that I would lose a friend in my life – ever. We used to talk about everything, and we had so many places in mind that we wanted to visit together, along with ideas for business, too.

My friend and I used to talk almost every day through WhatsApp or FaceTime. However, when she started to feel worse, we kind of stopped talking so often. I understood her but missed her as well. But we humans are creatures of habit, so I was getting used to not being in contact much.

I used to pray for her and her health, and I’d see our good times together in pictures. After I learned that she had passed away, a week after my birthday, I cried so much and then wrote her a letter. That’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. I expressed how I was feeling and wrote so many things that I wanted to tell her and couldn’t. Indeed, I felt at peace with myself and relieved. I still remember her and miss her, but I haven’t cried anymore since then.

Now, I just want to do everything that I’ve said I plan to do immediately because life is too short.

It is kind of funny to think that something really bad has to happen in your life so that you can start living one day at a time as if it were your last day on earth.

My key takeaways

When you lose someone very close to you, it feels like you have lost a part of yourself as well.

Throughout these years, I have learned the following:

  • You never stop missing them
  • You learn to live without that person
  • Crying as much as you want is liberating
  • Writing a letter to them feels comforting
  • Friends and family are NEEDED in these situations
  • We truly don’t appreciate what we have until we don’t have it anymore (it may be a cliché, but it’s TRUE)

Mindset is everything! You are strong and you can get through anything in your life. Believe in yourself.

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Joselyn Chérrez

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